Via ivoncuhhz:

I remember the first time we met. You followed me after someone submitted me to a fuckyeah site.. LOL! To be honest, the only reason why I followed you back at first was because I found you cute. We didn’t talk much at first. We just see each other’s posts on our dashboard from time to time. I remember I used to see your face every morning on my dash because you always wrote posts about the day before and some of the things that are bothering you. I really didn’t notice how deep your thoughts are and how great your mind functions until I went to your profile one day and read through your blog for pages(I know right? Like a stalker. Haha) But since that day, that’s when I’ve been noticing how much of a nice and wonderful person you are. I can’t deny, that some days when I see you on my dashboard, I wanted to go in your ask and say hi but I never had the balls to do it, so I kept to myself and just kept quiet.

My birthday would definitely be the most memorable day between us two. It was when we exchanged our first “hi’s.” You left me an ask on November 8, greeting me a “Happy Birthday.” It was the first time we’ve ever talked, and it was pretty much also the start of our relationship. We didn’t start liking each other right there, right then, but that’s when we talked more often. I got your number, and we just started txting and calling each other from time to time. I was getting to know you on a deeper level. From communicating on some days, it turned into communicating on the daily. We were becoming really close friends. We got to know each other on a more deeper and personal level. Wewould have vent session with each other about our own past, life, the future, and everything. We never ran out of things to say. Our conversations never died out. That’s when I realized I was starting to grow feelings for you.

Around end of January and beginnning of February was when we practically started “talking.” I called you one night and I ended up confessing the way I feel for you. I was surprised when you said that you felt the same. You don’t know how happy I was that night. It seems as though all my problems at the time vanished. The girl I like, likes me as well. Haha! I couldn’t even go to sleep that night.. I was too overwhelmed with joy. From that night on, we just started talking more and more. We txted during school whenever we got the chance to. I’d call you afterschool just to see how your day was. We’d talk on webcam. Txt some more. And the best part is we’d always go to sleep at night on the phone with each other. I swear, hearing your voice before I sleep at night is music to my ears.

Everything were going wonderful between us for 3 months. We never had arguments nor major problems. No drama, no fights. It was a smooth ride. But for some reason things started feeling different around end of April/May.. We weren’t as open to each other. Our conversations died out fast. We just weren’t the same. I admit though, I believe I’m the reason for our relationship taking its new course. I was just so busy and overwhelmed with school, a few friends, and especially family. Problems piled on top of each other. More bullshit came in my life. I was a big fuckin mess. I barely had the time to talk to you. I didn’t hit you up as often as I used to. I was slowly but not intentionally fading from you.. Until it resulted to this.. Us ending.

I really didn’t want to give up on her but I seriously don’t want to weigh her down. I don’t want her to constantly worry about me because I wanted her to focus on herself as well. I didn’t want her to take in all my problems. I just wanted her to be happy, but I knew I wasn’t doing the job. I felt like leaving her life would be the right thing to do. I’m not gonna lie, I regret my decisions. I’m stupid. I’m a dumbass for leaving her, but I feel like I wasn’t the best for her. I know I could be the best, but not with all this shit going on in my life. I tried to make things right though. I tried to build up that spark me and her shared, but it just wasn’t there anymore..

I promised her so much, but here I am breaking them. But I have one promise for her that I will always live up to. I promised to always be here for her, no matter what, and I’m going to do just that. Even after all of this, I will always be here. I’ll be standing a few feet back just to give her her space, but when she needs me, I will always be right there by her side.

I truly love Rocelle Cruz and she will always be a part of me. Leaving her is deinitely one of the hardest choice I ever had to make, but sometimes it’s best to let someone you love go to benefit one another.

It was an amazing journey that lead to a devastating destination.. But even if, I’m more than happy that I shared all of it with her. She really was the best I ever had, and she always will be.